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Date: 26th May, 2020
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Anger Management Classes: Do you know what anger is and how to use it to improve your life?

A Survival Emotion, anger is one of the three primary emotions that work to insure your survival. Fear and disgust are the other two.

Anger has two functions:

• First, your anger alerts you that you are facing a threat that will harm you unless you do something to eliminate it.
• Secondly, your anger prepares you to take action by giving you the power to do whatever is necessary to eliminate the threat.
This is what anger did for our cave ancestors and continues to do today.

Psychological Threats

    For Mr. Caveman, every threat that he faced could "kill" him in some way. These are survival based threats. In the world of today, the situation you face and get angry about typically involves your ego, your goals, your values or your dreams. These are psychological issues and, while certainly important, do not represent a serious risk to your survival. Because psychological threats are viewed as personal attacks, it is you who defines the seriousness of the threat and it is you who may misinterpret the motives of your "attacker".

    In other words, psychological threats are open to interpretation, are ambiguous, and may not be an attack at all. Consequently, if you do something to eliminate the "threat" you believe exists and you have misinterpreted the level of threat, you may unnecessarily hurt someone or get yourself in trouble. This is what happens when we get angry and lash out at our spouse, at the cop who pulls us over, or at our boss. We overreact to the situation and say or do things we later regret.

There are several issues with psychological threats.

• Psychological threats usually involve your ego, your goals, your values, your beliefs, or your dreams.
• Psychological threats may feel like your survival is at stake when, in fact, it rarely is.
• They are easily misinterpreted.
• They can lead you to do or say something you later regret.

The Solution: Use Your Emotions as Tools

• Your anger is a tool that you can use to improve your life and your relationships.
• Your anger alerts you that you perceive a threat.
• Your anger prepares you to take action if the threat involves your survival.
• Your anger gives you time to evaluate the seriousness of the threat.
• Your anger makes you aware of issues that involve your goals, beliefs, and values and that may require your attention.
• Your anger alerts you to problems that may exist between you and others that may need to be resolved.
• Your anger both alerts you and gives you a choice about what how to respond to the situation.

Here is what to do when you get angry:

• Recognize your anger as a tool which provides you with useful information.
• Stop for a second or two before you do anything.
• Take a deep breath.
• Evaluate the information from your anger and decide if the threat will "kill" you, your family, your core values, or your critical goals
• If the answer is yes, take strong corrective action.
• If the answer is no, let it go or choose a less aggressive approach to resolve the issue that exists in your life, in your relationships, at work, or at home.

    Your anger puts you on alert. This is what it is supposed to do. Using your anger as a tool allows you to assess the level of risk and choose what action you want to take. This is using your emotions as tools to improve your life. This same approach also applies to other emotions.
 

Source: Ed Daube link


Anger Management Skill #5

The fifth anger management skill that you should master is the ability to communicate assertively. This skill involves a person practicing effective communication and responding to certain things without getting hostile or angry about it.

Anger Management Skill #6

The sixth anger management skill that you should master is the ability to adjust your expectations. The main reason many people become upset is because a particular outcome they were expecting did not come to pass. When you do not get something that you expected it can cause the frustration that often leads to anger. This skill helps individuals to learn to adjust to difficult situations and people.

You can find more anger management strategies for Your Anger Management Skills

The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
by: Les Carter
Amazon Price: $10.27 (as of 02/25/2011)
Dr. Les Carter has done it again! No wonder he is called "America's Anger Expert." With The Anger Trap he has put together his years of experience and wisdom on this important subject to provide us with a way out of this  insidious trap called anger.

 

 
 
 
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